Aphrodite's Bedroom
Do Greek men make good marriage partners?
The stories of Greek heroes’ infidelity and hanky panky are the stuff of legend. Take Jason or Theseus or the infamous Odysseus. Jason, married to Medea and whose charms without which he could not have survived, still betrayed her by marrying an Athenian princess, quite younger. He knew full well that he was going against his vow that he would never cheat on her. Same theme with Theseus, who according to both literary and historical record was an arrogant jerk. He needed Ariadne’s help to get out of the labyrinth but when his use for her was done, he abandoned her, pregnant no less, on the island of Naxos after getting her drunk on the way back to Athens from Crete. And of course we all know the sexual exploits of the cunning Odysseus. If he had a sexual encounter on each of the islands on the way to Ithaca it is no wonder the return leg of the journey took him over ten years.
But the stuff of myth and legend is not far from the flesh and blood truth. Let’s face it — Greek “boys” are spoiled, arrogant, and flagrantly unfaithful. We have heard stories of so and so cheating on his wife for many years. As a young girl I remember one of my father’s friends boasting,”I have had relations with hundreds of women.” I have stepped outside the Greek milieu and asked straight up Americans about what they thought of Greek men, “a–holes,” “proud” “immature”” shrewd” “good with money and business” but mostly arrogant immature “d—-“. Like Latino lovers, they are two-timers or three or four or 22-timers and keep a rotating Rolodex of women in their minds. Not to say they are much different than other men out there, and to risk coming out as stereotypical, yet stereotypes don’t come out of nowhere. Of course there are individual differences, but I feel that the “Greek man syndrome” a mix of pride, dominating stubbornness, unfaithfulness and disrespect towards females, has something to do with the way boys are socialized inGreek culture.
The discrepancies between the ways a Greek girl and a Greek boy are huge and their respective socially sanctioned behaviors create a conflict in relationships. While everyone assumes that Greek men will cheat, that is not the case for Greek women. As a wife, she is supposed to be the Penelope and remain virtuous, even when her husband is a two or 22 – timer. As women socialized in less patriarchal cultures, such as the US, this sort of double- standard becomes absolutely unacceptable. It is unfair an despicable. Therein lies the conflict for a Hellenic woman of the diaspora– how much does she sacrifice staying true to the traditions of her culture by marrying someone out of her cultural pool and how much does she sacrifice of her own dignity by conforming to the stereotype of the assumed Greek macho man? In other words, do you settle for a Greek s-o-b just to keep the balance and socially more acceptable harmony of a Greek home?
Personally, because I value my own self respect more than keeping up with the Pappas’ both times I have chosen to marry non Greeks. Both my daughters are only half- Greek. I have managed to promote a very real sense of Greek pride in them by teaching them Greek literature and Greek language, entrenching them in Greek values and a living Orthodoxy, and by taking them to Greece whenever possible. I have religiously adhered to Greek food and traditions in the home. I can safely say that both “feel” more Greek even if I had to become über-Greek so to speak in an effort to keep them from going “Greek lite” as I felt holding on to Greek culture extremely important. It was important for me that my daughters grow up Greek, but with all the benefits of feeling like empowered American women. I have tried to replicate I them what I have hoped to accomplish in myself as a hyphenated American. I never wanted to “greekness” to fade away into a barf shade of grey. Yet I did not want to compromise my self respect or settle for a spoiled overbearing Greek which tended to be my lot with most of the Greek men I met. And I got tired waiting such a long time for a balanced, egalitarian marriage partner who I also had chemistry for to come around.
I know many Greek friends who have “settled” for less-than-satisfying Greek men who are full embodiments of Odysseus or Jason. Risking the label of judgmental and unfair, I do not subscribe to their idea of happiness in marriage even though they say they are, because I can see from the outside how much of themselves they had to suppress or change all to be with a Greek husband. Relationships are extremely complicated, I know that. But all too often I see the sacrifices to self and self worth, especially in terms of respect and equal division of house work and child rearing, that many of my Greek women friends have made for the sake of keeping comfortably Greek. To be treated with respect and a fair division of the work in both sex roles are non negotiables in a marriage arrangement.
It pains me to see so many smart successful women who have so much going for them in their professions and social worlds compromise themselves in the most intimate of circles. Although I have not done formal surveys and research on it, my hunch is that they cave into the pressures, consciously or unconsciously, to marry greek because our culture puts so much stake at keeping the Greek culture alive. Since it is the mothers who transmit the culture, the drive for endogamy is very sharp in Greeks of the diaspora. “ti tha pei,” the middle-aged ladies of the Philoptochos will chit chat, “tha parei xeno?”. It is considered a desperate measure, a settling for seconds should a girl marry a xeno someone outside the Greek golden race.
So, do Greek men make the best husbands? It depends. It depends whether the Greek or Greek american has absorbed the mores of a more egalitarian sort of marriage and can respect the woman. But I believe that if the saying “a good man is hard to find” is true than the chances of finding a good Greek man are even slimmer. What the poet Rilke said is true not just for Greek but all relationships, ” in relationships it is men who do not know how to love.”
Perhaps the answer then is to re educate Greek men and women in a new paradigm of sex relations that translates into genuinely equal, mutually respectful and satisfying marriages and families. Perhaps the answer should not be so either/ or. Not chopping up Jason’s children in a fit of revenge for his infidelity nor divorcing Odysseus after all the years you invested in your relationship. If only Zeus and Hera could have had marriage counseling and taken a seat on a pillowy cloud of a couch in some marriage counselor’s office. Perhaps they could have been the archetypes of a mutually respectful and satisfying marriage.
77 COMMENTS
I agree that most greek men have deep embedded issues that do not qualify for a good partner.
My only issue with greek men is their greek mothers. Who are hugely to blame for how they raise their sons. They are not raised independent. They expect a mommy figure to clean up after themselves, cook for them and be the sole person involved in child rearing.
As for the womanizing fact. Yes, I remember my father who was a dirtbag and a greek man speaking the same way. I like to believe that was the old school greeks. Maybe the new generation saw all the pain their mom went through they might have more respect for woman or at least be smart enough to never want to be that kind of man.
I am not a fan of picking on a specific background because I feel men from all different kinds of backgrounds have issues as do women. There is good and bad in all. There are a few truly good men that do not deserve this generalization. No two men are the same. For every example you give me of a horrible husband or father I can give you one of a wonderful dad/husband who was greek and worked hard to raise his family who he loved. You can find terrible men from all backgrounds. All relationships take effort, patience and understanding.
We all need to look at ourselves, our beliefs, the way we treat people and react to situations and figure out where they come from. Our culture can be to blame. But whomever you decide to marry just make sure there is Respect on both ends.
Interesting blog! As a Greek-Canadian woman who has married a Greek man though, my experience has been different and I don’t believe the stereotype is true much anymore, especially the newer and more educated generation who is less threatened by strong women unwilling to put up with behaviour our mothers’ generation may have ignored. Many of my close friends have also married Greek men and I see shared division of labour, involved dads changing diapers and doing homework, and no more mother-in-law issues than my “xenoi” friends have with theirs.
I also have children of both sexes and am trying very hard to raise them to take care of themselves and their future families. After all, I’m hoping my daughter has a great career – why should I hope for less in a daughter in law? Financial and domestic responsibilities fall to both spouses to negotiate in the best way possible for them. Most couples are dual income and therefore both people have to be accountable for the domestic work, too. Sometimes it appears that work is gendered, but just as often it’s a result of what each person enjoys. I don’t like mowing the lawn, but I love to cook. Does that make us a throwback couple or a modern one?
Finally, I’m not sure I see the “married xenoi” stigma so much anymore. Almost every family has at least one non-Greek in law now, and usually one divorce or out of wedlock child or whatever else used to be shocking, and most of the kids in our community have a non-Greek parent. Of course, those of us over 30 dealt with much more pressure to marry within our culture, or at least religion, than I think our children’s generation might. But the point is that stereotyping Greek or Greek-American/Canadian men as being a certain way is just as limiting as stereotyping “xenoi” or having the “Greek American princess” stereotype for Greek women. Marriage is tough enough – sometimes having common cultural and religious expectations helps and sometimes it doesn’t, but ultimately, we are all individuals with both flaws and positive characteristics, some of which are a result of culture and upbringing and some of which are a result of just personality.
Curious to read about others’ experiences.
I fell in love with a Greek man. The experience taught me a lot. Never again will I trust. Never again will I give up my independance. Never again will I allow a man to crush me as this one did. I lost my self respect, my voice, my opinion, my worth, my confidence, my rights. From a strong and successful career woman I became a glorified maid who must shut up and put up. Trauma Bonding (look it up). One piece of valuable advice lies in the saying “beware of Greeks bearing gifts”. I found the strength to leave – he did fine and was in a new relationship a month later but I hurt his make pride and paid the price. I’m still struggling to get my life back together. Someone once told me that I was not GREEK and therefore didn’t have the skills to ‘be the neck’ which is quite telling. In Greece as a girl you learn from observing your mother’s manipulation of the head of the family and you repeat … Sad. No I did not have these ‘skills’ but a relationship should never be about manipulation – it should be about love, respect, equality, mutual support and so much more. No woman will get this with a Greek male. I hope someone benefits from what I’ve written. I wish no disrespect. perhaps one word sums up a relationship between a Greek man and a woman who’s not totally Greek. Incompatibility
Jesus I’m so sorry. There are very few Greek men that are honest and respectful. I apologize since I’m Greek and I hope you find a man that will respect you. Try Jewish men, I hear they are better than us in serious relationships
Greek men make great partners to Greek women as much as Blacks, Whites, Latinos, etc. etc. There’s a stigma attached to Greek men and I see a few hasty generalizations in the post, It wouldn’t cross my mind to subscribe to a backwards outdated idea that I have to be “Greek”; whatever that means. Personally, I’ve never had a serious Greek girl who had to “settle” for me. Let’s not be lazy and apply this myth of what a “Greek” is across the board. It’s a ridiculous idea.
I’m of the thought that it’s 2013 and we can do away with a lot of the social taboos that Greeks create out of ignorance. I’m one of the lucky ones that had cool parents that never thought the world would end if I married a non Greek. The irony of the whole situation after so many years is that I wouldn’t want anything more than spending my life with a woman (greek or non greek) who values the Greek part of me enough to want that passed on to my children; as you did.
I am sure that some Greek men are great but the ones that I came across just have soo much anger for women despite them all claiming that they love women.
All Greeks that I know were raised in a patriarchal society. Patriarchy is anti-women.
Way too many sweeping generalizations in both this article and in most of the comments. Perhaps it works both ways: if certain Greek women didn’t view *all* or even *most* Greek men with this sort of predisposition, both sides would actually then have a chance to get to know each other instead of being kept apart due to stereotypes and misconceptions.
There’s plenty of men in all cultures who were raised in patriarchal families or societies, who have anger towards women, who have emotional issues, etc., and I’m not certain that this percentage is quantitatively higher amongst Greeks, so why single them out? It seems to be that we Greeks enjoy “self-flaggelation” quite a bit.
Can’t we all just get along ?
You raised your daughters “with all the benefits of feeling like empowered American women” I am not sure I know what that is and I was born here. The American mother of the 1950s was not at all an empowering woman. Greece skipped a generation. When I saw how my husband had grown up when I went to Epirus in the 1980s I realized that while I was playing with Barbie dolls in the 1960s and later saving for my first car, he was scrounging for food, working long days as a little boy at manual labor jobs to help with the household income. During that visit of mine, there was no running water, the roads were dirt, the infrastructure was weak and most of the population lived in villages. THEN! in a matter of a few years shepherds had cell phones and pickup trucks.Within one generation, the modern world arrived and the following generation assumed that life was always good. Cut the Greek boys some slack. I didn’t hear you mention you had a son. I’m guessing you don’t and if you do, maybe you need to wait until you have a nifi to cast your vote against the Greek husbands : )
. . . In the meantime, why not check out The Nifi on Amazon.com. Easy read. Entertaining story : )
This is a ridiculous article. I am a 100% greek male, first generation. I was raised in a very old school family, where my father was the financial supporter and my mother was the home maker. Yes we greek men tend to be more chauvinistic, but we also work our asses off to give everything to our family. My siblings and my mother all lived a great life, thanks to my father, who came here with nothing and is now a proud restaurant owner. The main difference between the Greeks and Americans is that we have pride and culture. Women marry an American man and when the first problem arises, they want a divorce. American men need their women to chip in financially. Well let me tell you, we Greeks don’t believe in divorce no matter what, and no matter the problems that arise in our marriage, we always support our family, put food on the table and give the world to our kids. We also believe real men don’t need the assistance of a woman financially, that marks you as a weak man. We believe women should be home makers because they are the children’s nurturers. What happens if a woman works and gets pregnant? Does she give her child to day cares and baby sitters every day to embed their morales and thoughts into my child’s head. NO! The woman’s duty is to take care of the child and embed traditions and morals into them. America is the only country that gives women the chance of independence and in return it’s made these modern men much more feminine and soft.
Thank you for your input, I am a Italian/French Canadian woman, that was born in the US, that has been communitcating with a Greek man via net. The traditions and family embodiment are all embraced by my background as well, I was raised in a home where my mother was the homemaker, my father worked very hard to take care of us, but, my father also raised us to be strong, independent woman with allot of spirit. I see the traditions of this man I speak with holding him back as well. So, I am glad to hear that your family and your father was able to embrace a life of freedom to own, work hard, reap rewards, and provide, it’s also good to see the commitment in your family…
But in Greece now, I see a shift in how men provide, seek marriage, and take care of themselves..It appears that they do not have the same traditions as your are experienceing, plus the fact that they have to join the military seems to keep them at home longer. I can’t tell you the amount I have spoken too that are in their mid-30’s and have never been married…Why is this??
I believe you failed to recognize, or at the very least, acknowledge that, your siblings you and your mother had a good life not only because of your father, but because of your mother as well. Your mother dedicated her time to working to raise you at home where your dad dedicated his time to his restaurant. I believe that the problem is that the women don’t get the respect they deserve for the hardest job in the world. Its just not right. You say when the first problem arises women want a divorce? that’s NOT it! Its a build up over the years. The women talk and voice their opinions but the Greek men dismiss them as if they are inferior and finally, the women get fed up and want the divorce. Don’t kid yourself or try to kid everyone here. My ex husband had a GED and I am an educated woman with a masters degree and I “helped” run a business out of my home (which my father provided for me). I used to run to courts and attorneys offices and pick up work with my infant children in tow. My husband at the time would work a few hours come home and then decide if he wanted to sleep or go play cards. My work never ended, but guess what? that was my duty apparently. I wanted his help at the very least but “that wasn’t man’s work”. Would that have made him feminine to step up to the plate and be a real man? a real man, my dear, is a man that is not so insecure and knows how to keep his family feeling safe. Feminine you say? he became a tyrant went I wanted out of the marriage. He stalked and harassed and threatened my life and is still. So, Greek men, the high and mighty, cause you want to keep your women home and make sure you “take care of them” and don’t get divorced no matter what, get a grip! Greek families staying together is a façade. Women getting cheated on and/or emotionally abused by these Greek men that believe this is the way to be. Evolve !
If a Greek man is good quality,he is good quality. Speaking as a man,men only know what they are doing when they get to 40 years old. I think the biggest mistake both sexes make is that they think they know everything. I think many men have to realise, that, being with a woman,is about the journey,not, about having someone as a slave.As a Christian, i believe a man should treat his wife,as, Jesus loved the Church,with a self-sacrificial love,and have the heart of a servant towards her.If a man has chosen wisely,and follows these simple instructions,i think his wife will have no problem following him.I also think if men were more humble,they would have fewer issues in their relationship. I think more Greek men,should read Proverbs 31, a description of what a woman should mirror, i do not think that it says that a woman should not be allowed to work,or,she should be your slave.I do think it says what her priorities should be,but, a man should allow her to be who she is,not something he wants her to be,or,who his mother was/is. I think many Greek men forget,when you marry,your wife and children is now who you sacrifice for.Your Mom,you respect and provide for,if needed,but,she no longer leads you,you are a grown up now.
I am also a 1st Generation Greek and you nailed it!
Being a teenage Greek-American girl, I have noticed that most Greek-American boys my age are typically similar. They’re lying, egotistical jerks & they all act like little apes. I’m not saying they’re all like that, but most of them that I have come across are PIGS. But the young men from Greece are much more mature. They act like gentleman & I believe they’re raised better for what ever reason. This is just my opinion from experience. I am no where near ready for marriage, but I do know if I end up marrying a Greek man, he will most likely be a native of Greece.
I don’t know if its fair for me to comment here because I know only about 3 Greek men in my life and I do not wish to judge all Greek men based on my limited experiences. But I can share my experience. The three men are my current lover and his two Greek best friends. All three VERY attractive I must say!
I don’t know the two friends too much but what I do know is that one of them is unfaithful to his long-term partner. He takes home at least two different girls a week and flirts with everyone he finds attractive including me when my partner is not around. The other one is shy and sweet and wants to have a nice long term relationship when the right girls comes along. He doesn’t sleep around or flirt.
As for my current partner who I am considering for a serious relationship (a little uncertain so far), he is very loving towards me, but lacks gentleman qualities. He is very untidy (literally never cleans his room), doesn’t cook and is quite lazy for my likes. He is even sometimes lazy to please me in bed, and claims a woman should please her man. I think this is all a result of being spoiled by a mother who still treats him like a child and a rich father who gives him everything.
Its been only three months since we started dating and I am still not sure of him because of the above qualities. I’m wondering if he will make a good long-term partner. All I can say good about being in a relationship with this Greek man is that he is possessive, very protective and love you to bits (even though he doesn’t do typical romantic things like arrange dates, he expresses it through deeper deeds like that are emotional). He gets anxious when other men approach me, likes to show me off to his friends/family and treats me like a child sometimes.
I think he lacks admirable feminine qualities that the modern generation expects the man to have like sharing domestic duties with the woman. I tell my friends sometimes “oh, he is TOO masculine”. That is the only way I know how to express my opinion about his persona. I have been told this comes from the strictly patriarchal upbringing. This surprised me initially because I come from India and I thought European men were more modern than this.
So this is my experience with the only Greek man I have dated in my life. No judgement intended.
Ok honey, I am a very strong woman that has had the pleasure of being desired by different men in different cultures. My father thought French Canadian, Italian and Noregien, raised his daughters to be opposite of his mothers background. Greek men, European men are sexy at first, but long term, on thanks. As a mother and Grandmother now, I encourage my daughters to take charge of their life, and never seek less from anyone…so i encourage you to ready what you wrote above and run like hell from this man, a lazy spoiled man, that is bad in bed, come on…that can happen in any culture, have some self respect and stop the self sacrifice, life is too short. I am 47, I take care of myself and I have a full life, although divorced, I am proud that I didn’t stay with someone that gave me less…Now I have control and love where I am at…I am dating a Greek man, and he worships me..he is good looking, mid 30’s and comes to the US to see me, although he has his traditions and obligations, he is hard working, honest, and great in bed!! and finds it very important to please, but on the other hand, we will never marry, I know that, I am more than fine with that…Also, he is very protect of me when we go out, not from a jealous or insecure standpoint, but from a standpoint of making sure I am respected….you can have this too,
Wow. How critical someone can be with over-generalizing and dwelling on specific character traits of men.
I just came across this article and found it completely offensive and disturbing.
What Greek men are you talking about? Where are these Greek men you are talking about?
The culture described may be found in older generations of the ignorant, but here in the Midwest Greek men act like real men and not as sex crazed pubescent boys.
I did not see or hear of this disrespectful treatment of women in my grandfathers, uncles, father, sons, friends or their sons. We were taught respect and practice it faithfully.
Greek men in our parts of the country make examples of the men you so generally characterize as all Greek men. Maybe that is why don’t last around here. We don’t let any man disgrace or disrespect any woman or they have to deal with the consequences.
It is because of our Greek pride, customs, and our work ethic us why we protect women and children from those described in your article.
So your article is a misrepresentation of all Greek men and an apology to those who do not fit your sick profile is in order.
John, it is precisely because you come from the Midwest where successive generations of Greeks have had time to assimilate to the gender equality that is more the norm in American society that you find this post offensive. But I do not think it is sick or unrepresentative of the stereotypical Greek macho men that strut their stuff from the old school. Perhaps you missed the point of the article, that culture colors our behaviors and our sexual roles and identities and passes as acceptable into the personal sphere. If you represent the type of “real” Greek man with respect and grace, then happy would be many forlorn Greek women to meet you and your like for possible happy unions and a more equitable and fair family structure. Thanks for your comment
Dream on. This article is Spot-On with regard to Greek men. Only a Greek man would deny it!
My grandparents are from Greece so i was raised by Greek-speaking parents. I simply don’t recognize the Greek men she is talking about. I was raised to respect women, and my father and uncles were great role models. My wife is not Greek and she remarked after getting to know my family that for such a patriarchal culture, she had never seen so many strong, independent women. Of course, there were traditional roles which is the way the human race organized itself to ensure survival. If my mother ran the house with everything that entailed, it was because my father was working hard ten to twelve hours a day to care for his family. Running a household is a trait Greek women have excelled at for centuries. An Arab book on the qualities of slave women by ethnicity written a thousand years ago said that for running a household Greek women were the best. What you find today in so many American women is a lack of respect for men. As a British friend told me, “I can’t stand American women; they spend all their time tearing men down and then ask why they can’t find a real man.”
I dated a greek for 4 years on and off. He was also seeing another girl the same 4 years on abd off. He was a liar. Cheater. Manipulator. And lazy. He wasnt even good in bed. He wound up hitting the other woman and he was arrested.his mother bailed him out and thinks he is the best. The only reason I stayed for so long was because he was 15 years younger than me an handsome and I was flattered. His friends are as immature as he is. Never again. Most are this way
Yes I know the feeling same happened to me never again with a Greek I should have heeded the warnings before I got involved! He lied, cheated with many, everything was his way or the highway, lazy and never took responsibility for his actions – always tried to turn the blame on me. He had such a twisted brain that when I caught him cheating and got upset and screamed at him (normal reaction) he twisted the whole scenario that I am the bad woman because I screamed and got angry. Never mind that it was because of his cheating! He chose to forget that and try to make me the bad one. Soooo twisted. I feel sick i ever went with him. For me personally never a Greek man. I understand there are exceptions to the rule and a handful of nice ones but someone else can enjoy them. No more Greek mean for me 11 years of this suffering is all my heart and health could take!
When I read taras comments I thought it was me writing them. The twisted logic. The taking no responsibility for anything. The blame the lies . Someone else said the newer generation of greek men arent all like that. I disagree. She said her friends married them with no problems like these. Well. you j never know what goes on in someone elses home. Also because they lie so well and are so charming maybe the wives dont have a clue. Sad because it is in the way their mothers raise them and the culture. I am talking about younger greek men. Never again for me….
Dahlia and Tara, greek men are the worse men, that you can date, trust me, 2 was more than enough for me.
What a joy to find sonmoee else who thinks this way.
I agree with Irene. I think that they used to be like that, but the newer generation is different. Althoug I married a non-Greek, a lot of my friends married Greek guys and they are real gentlemen. I also agree about the moms ruining them.
I disagree. Maybe your friends dont know what their husbands are doing. it isnt a generational thing. It is a custom and a way of life from father to son. MOst greek men lie to their gf and wives. The cheat and think they are entitled. The women have no clue.
Demosthenis
November 20, 2013 at 4:09 am
“This is a ridiculous article. I am a 100% greek male, first generation. I was raised in a very old school family, where my father was the financial supporter and my mother was the home maker. Yes we greek men tend to be more chauvinistic, but we also work our asses off to give everything to our family.”
Agreed, it is against the Greek Orthodox Church and our forefathers teaching. Very much a feminist written agenda in order to brainwash Greek women. In reality, many Greek women have been brainwashed in North American in stereotyping a strong Greek man committed to raising a family and instead, strong Greek women are dominating with weaker North American men and in many cases taking on the role as the provider and leader. Unfortunately , this type of family unit does not create a strong generation of young men and women and this can be seen by the continuing moral decay in both the US and Canada which has impacted the Greek communities as well.
How can it be a moral decay when what I am proposing is respect for both sexes? Our Orthodox Church does not elevate one sex above the other but aims at equality within the bounds of sexual difference. I am not proposing that women become like men, but that there is something really wrong in Greek culture’s treatment of the sexes esp in the home. Girls who grow up to be women are not given the same attention as a whole, societally speaking, not anecdotally. Men develop this macho mentality because they are granted status by virtue of their sex. If you want to see moral decay go to Greece where more than 70% of both men and woman cheat on their partners. Where men abandon families and emotionally and physically abuse women because they come from a culture that glorifies all things male. Men are threatened by the equality in sex roles posited in more Western cultures and so shout “brainwashing” and “moral decay.”
For the most part , Greeks are very very Empiricist ego people,they live by their feelings rather then the mind of REASON , so the fall of Greece because that didn’t listen to the conservative intellectual’s of Greek History ,The Greeks invented Philosophy , and Logic however they abandon it , so it abandon them to leave them to their downfall, and the world follows !
WE NEED A REVIVAL OF THE CLASSICS ! It over come the dark age in history
,until it was over come by liberal empiricism again as today .
I’m a 21 year old Persian girl , and I have met a 26 year old Greek man online. We met on a chat application, and I really fell in love with his personality. We quickly became serious.
Two months later, I find out that he lied to me about the pictures he was using, but decided to shrug it off since his personality really appealed to me, and I’m not a shallow person.
After that, he started being really controlling, dominating, and had really bad mood-swings. He would be super romantic to me one moment, and when I did something that he didn’t like (such as use my social media sites too much), he would snap at me and act as if I was his worst enemy! Now that i’ve become more cold, and have restricted my overly-affectionate tendencies like before, he’s put his bad attitude on halt.
We’ve been talking for more than half of a year, and he’s coming to Canada in a month to see me. I really want to marry him, but I really hope that he will be a good man to me. He’s the most difficult man I have ever been with, but he is very warm and near to my own culture. After reading your messages, Im a little scared to be honest, but I really do hope he’s an exception. I love him so much.
Are you crazy!!!! He is the most difficult man you have ever had. He lied, he is controlling and manipulating and you want to marry him!!!!!! Hang on for the ride! This is a disaster in the making.
OMG. You SO do NOT want to marry this man. You want to love him – but you don’t. It’s his facade you’re in love with, not him. The romantic Prince Charming you care about is nothing more than the mask he puts on to lure you in while he sets the trap. Listen to your instincts. You know who he really is – but the fantasy he’s created for you is so much fun that you don’t want to believe the truth. Don’t be an idiot. Stop doing this to yourself – it’s only going to get worse.
Jess
The lonely journeyer- wow ur post was soooo relatable! He gets upset about me using social media too much, he responds much more favorably when I am cold and not overly affectionate. He is also the most difficult man ive ever been with. Im not so used to this kind of controlling nature and dominating stubborness. I’m curious to know how it went when you two met in person. It also might be noteworthy to some that as part of the “old world” Greek culture, it seems there is much emphasis on class. And even things a polite American would not think twice about, is seen as unclassy and undesirable. Such as taking “to-go” boxes of leftover food home. I had no idea not wasting food would he seen negatively. But now I know. I had a friend with old world middle eastern culture tell me the same goes for him & them.
Wow!OMG!Should I ran away now from a Greek man. Im corresponding right now with a noble greek man, but I thought I would research if they are good candidates for marriage.
And I stumble upon this article, this is very interesting becuase this does not only fall into category of Greek men, Indian men, Midle east, Asian, meaning any men.
Ive dated Asian, married Americans and an Indian men, only American men would really know how to share housechores, the American man I married was the gead of the family and also breadwinner, but I work too.
Ive been dovorced 2x and reconsidering 3rd marriage but so for no luck of finding a real man, so I thought would try a Greek man. I heard so much negatives about them not only on this blog but word of mouth…is this really true?
I would really consider to give this man a chance and allow him to prove this article wrong.
Im divirced 2x becuase I dont tolerate cheaters and wont allow myself to succumb to a life long misery,deception, lies, cheaters and laziness. I dont like lazy men, it sickened me while Im mowing the lawn and my man sits and plays chess.
I dont have respect for this kind of characters. What kind of men are they anyway?
But hopefully this Greek men your describing are young. Im hoping and praying since were older adults 50’s, that all these characters have been evaporated.
Do you think they would have settled by now?
Greek Men still marry out more than Greek women
43 % of Greek American men and 33.1 % Greek American women married to non-Greeks. Greek men may be mamas boys, but they can still get non-Greek ladies. To be honest, Anglo/North European women are more accepting of different cultures. Greek men, do not accept defeat from this blog. There are many beautiful women out there.
Have you ever actually read the odyssey? The whole legend is about a mans 20 year absence from war as he tries to make it home to his wife and son facing natural disasters, huge Cyclopes, smashing rocks, a powerful sea god who wanted revenge on him and yes, even the charms and attempts of other women who attempt to strand him with them. He resists all of it and makes it home to his wife who also stayed faithful to him. Guess who that was? Odysseus. A Greek Man from Ithaca. So…. Yeah.
Exactly, a myth. not a real man. Even though I do admit in the final Books of the Odyssey Homer makes a very strong claim to the beauty of conjugal bliss (the symbol of the olive tree bed that Penelope uses as a “test” to see if this is the real Odysseus). I’m sure Penelope would not have taken too well to the graphic details of the years of sexual infidelity that Odysseus brought to their marriage bed by the likes of Kalypso and all the other women along the long long journey.
IN fact, Nick, you should read Penelope’s version of the Odyssey called The Penelopiad by Margaret Atwood written as a classical Greek drama. The Odyssey is hardly good evidence to bring up to state your case for what makes for a good Greek husband. Not that one doesn’t exist in some mythical landscape.
I am married to a Greek man. I am English. Married for 23 years. He has been a faithful, devoted husband. His mom, however, has been a meddling, overbearing witch. I finally cut her out of my life after many years of dealing with her drama. Good Riddance! Not to stereotype, but the Greek mamas need to get a life once their son marries. She never found a life – just clung onto her 2 sons. Her other son is 45 and still lives with this needy woman.
GREEK GIRLS ARE SO RACIST TO BLACK AFRICAN BOY,WHY IS IT LIKE THAT ,AM SUPRISE THAT ONLY HERE HAVE SEEN IT LIKE THAT,I PRAY THEY COME TO REALISE WHAT THEY ARE MISSING
i think this article is really untrue – humans cheat – male and female regardless of their nationality. I know I’ve seen it! As well, if a Greek Orthodox man is true to his faith – there’s no way he’d cheat on his wife.
This is very close minded and bias
not really !!!!
Yes they dooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!
Damn. Well put. @TheannSandos http://t.co/wPA6pYEf3q
Well said! I think part of the problem and I hate to say it is the mothers and how they raise their sons. They are the ones that are instilling knowledge and values in their children. As a mother I plan to teach my son (he’s only 2 months now) to value women and to have good morals. I am not Greek and I find myself (often referred to as an xeno) whose more “Greek” than my in laws lost and what that means is my kids are referred to as Greeks only and it hurts because they are a product of 2 beautiful cultures and both should be embraced. Anyway I am getting off topic. I think as women and mothers we should teach the men in our lives to value women after all in most households we are the ones teaching them and we need to teach them to be leaders not followers and to be independent thinkers
Interesting article I wish I could have read in 1986, prior to marrying the Greek love of my life. I know not all men are the same, but from my experience, arrogant, self- centered, narcissistic old school from Xios.
I am an American of Italian and French descent and fell in love with the Greek culture,the family values, the food the music everything Greek. I went to college to learn the language at 18 because I knew I wanted to marry Greek a man. Not that I had a clue regarding traditional Greek’s marry Greek’s in laws manipulating techniques, and may I add not prepared to face the wrath of being non marrying material. Challenge accepted, after 8 years of dating civil service in the USA and a beautiful wedding in XIos. The wedding invitations had my fathers name completely wrong. The day of my wedding my wedding rings disappeared that I gave to our Koumbara (his cousin), not that I knew until I had to drive around the church 5 times, we ended up using his brothers rings. His mother did not show up for the wedding, said she was sick. Apparently there is a tradition where there is a piece on netting that is placed on the bride, mine included 2 nails, go figure. The hairstylist was busy doing the Koumbaras hair never did mine, and to cap it off I paid for half of the wedding, my father in law opened an account for my ex and deposited the money.. Fast forward back in the USA, my mother inlaw proceeds to tell me what a catch my now husband was and the dowry he should have received when he married……Now me husband wants to open a restaurant, ok anything for love…..:) So we open a restaurant just me and him I work 16hrs a day 7 days a week with 0 pay for 10 years, I can do everything in the restaurant that he can do. Smart man everything is in his name only, not that I cared he was the man of my dreams….(hmmmm sarcasm runs through my mind). SOld the restaurant….
Fast forward 2013 I am in college fulltime, my husband constantly telling me to give it up im too old, but NJ economy is horrible and I will provide for my kids. He goes to Greece with his mom for 5 wks, I cant go school and the kids….2 mos later he goes back, apparently to fix his house for a total of 4 times…. OK, something is up and it was a 48 year old Romanian chick, found pictures on his nephews phone under agapi mou should have been pout@– mou but who am I to judge..So I call the woman up and she says, she made a mistake and has nothing to do with him…So, yes I was devasted lost 25 lbs in 30 days making me 105 pounds. Now I had no clue, just a picture, I found her name, where she was born, and made a Romanian facebook page and invited ever family member she had and half of Xios, apparently my ex said noone knew about the affair….Thirty days later I found her face book with picture of them, so I posted the whole story in English, Greek, and Romanian just to let everyone know why I was going for a divorce…. I kind of had the wrath of GREEK for a while. Ok im not heartless I give him another chance, so I bugged my house, sure enough as soon as I go to work and school, its Skype Ludovica Faitas the mistress hotline. I record for a month and ask him if he is talking to her, his reply classic…no honey, well, ya know I asked him which recording he would like to hear… the ones about the gifts he sent her, i pad computer, about the CD’s i made for him, Bougas, Pantazis, Stanisi, Margaritis, Terzis, old school zeimbekiko..that I love ( he couldnt find a Greek song online if he tried) but he did learn. Many of the same things he told me in the beginning………….His face was PRICELESS!!! Then he turned into satan, saying his girlfriend would be a better mother to our son than I am..Now, my son who is now 22 lost all respect for his father the day he cheated on me, he lived in the same house with us since birth and he is my pride and joy, and constantly says mom I dont know why you married him, he is not even nice to you. Something clicked and my son was so right all the years, no Christmas presents anniversary celebrations nothing. I am now divorced 100%, my son and I just graduated college together and I have my degree and going into the medical field. I still live with my ex until our house is sold, but I am SO OVER him. I have lived Greek since 1986, I was married for 23 years. I never thought of another man in any way and I learned the hard way. My ex was a spoiled brat, his mom ironed the mans underwear, brought him breakfast in bed and treated him like a king, never gave me an ounce of respect until the divorce (her husband was a serial cheater). When my ex’s sister went to Greece (we don not get along) I went over my motherinlaws house to bathe her, change her, check her oxygen and medications, because I care. I understand a mothers love for her son and that she went waaaaaaaaaaayyyy overboard but I respect the love. I felt sorry for her too, how could she not take a bath for weeks.he is her pride and joy and I can respect that too…I went through hell to marry this man gave him my heart and soul and believed in him…I completely can relate to the article, old school is a different world and children being brought up learn the ways they live. I raised my son with high morals and family values. I know he has no respect for my husband, and dislike cheaters and believes as I do marriage is for life, relationships are give and take 100%, spoil the woman you love and she will do the same, if not she is not the right one. I could not be happier at this point, heartbroken still but life goes on, I have faith that I will someday meet a good man but I am in no rush. Not all men are created equal, not all men are the same…and no I never ironed UNDIES!!! ridiculous!!! Never will!!! All we can do is live and learn, keep the faith that love conquers all….eh in my case not necessarily, but I still have faith. I have only dated Greek men since I was 18….lol, the only men I am attracted to, go figure!! I thought my life story touched on many of the bases, and I could go on about obstacles I faced in marrying an old school island Greek. I will still visist Xios many of the family members I still consider my family.
He never believed in marriage counselor. We went one time, the counselor diagnosed him with being highly narcissistic…He also believed if he cannot fix it it cannot be fixed..
My family came from Greece in the 50s, like so many others, busted their asses, and eventually did well for themselves. They of course encouraged me to marry greek, but they also strongly believed in education first. I wanted to do what other teenage (non-greek) girls did so freely…to date, go to parties, etc….and I did behind their backs.
While I know they just wanted “the best” for me, their best didn’t align with what I wanted. It still doesn’t. Maybe mine were more liberal than most (my dad certainly was as he’d come to the US long before my mom) but they accepted my non-greek husband…we are divorced now but my mom still sends food for him! Anyhow I always knew I did not want to marry a Greek…partly because I saw them behaving in stereotypical, sexist ways…but also partly because I did not like the message that greek was better just because they were greek. To me strong values transcend culture.
While I love and admire my family for so many great values they uphold, I always felt uncomfortable with their overriding concern about what other people (meaning other members of the greek community) thought. I’ve been divorced for years and my mother still hasn’t told her friends and family and for a long while I kept it secret from that world too…but no more. I am not buying her shame.
This is a great site and great article- it goes deeper than the usual greek pride rah rah fluff out there. Thank you for this voice!
thanks Tia. I tend to agree with your statement “Strong values transcend culture.” Give your support for this site by liking us on FB and spreading the word to your friends and family. I want to provide a voice for women of the Hellenic diaspora but I need more voices to join the discussion! Thanks for contributing.
You know…there are a lot of responses here from Greek men who defend their reputation by talking about how ‘hard working’ they are, and the men in their family have always been. The thing is – from the perspective of us women, whether or not Greek men are generally hard working and financial stable is NOT the issue. The issue is that Greek men seem to be incapable of sustaining a *genuinely* monogamous relationship – and apparently believe that working hard and providing financial support not only makes them entitled to cheat on girlfriends/spouses, but also justifies all the lying and deception necessary in order for them to get away with it. I notice that not one of the men responding to this article actually has said ‘I am a Greek man, and I never cheat on my girlfriend/wife, nor do any of the men in my family have extra-marital partners’.
Guys: THIS attitude is EXACTLY what all of these women are talking about! The issue isn’t money – it’s integrity. Being financial responsible is not the same thing as being ethically responsible. When a man meets all of his material obligations, but ignores his moral obligations, any woman involved with him is lowered to the status of a prostitute because his actions clearly indicate that to him, women are actually nothing ore than disposable/replaceable commodities. If a guy enters into a committed relationship with a women – and still continues to pursue other women – then systematically hides these activities from his ‘beloved’ – he does not ‘respect women. He might not FEEL hatred towards them, but so what? The fact that he that he is willing to repeatedly engage in activities that cause his unfortunate partners intense emotional anguish/pain is not symptomatic of ‘a kind and loving nature’.
When we ‘love’ something, we value it so highly that we go out of our way to protect it, because we don’t want or risk damaging/losing it. A person might really like to gamble in Las Vegas – but they aren’t going to bet their child on the roll of the dice no matter what prize they *might* win because the potential loss far outweighs any potential gain.
This how wives/girlfriends want/expect to be valued too. Sadly, Mediterranean males seem to judge a woman’s potential as a mate by how much BS she is willing to put up with. There’s a legitimate reason behind why so many women on this board are of the same opinion on this issue.Instead of taking offense. I hope that rather than taking offense, the Greek men reading these posts will instead be willing to understand that there really IS a problem here. (Believe it or not – we’re not all just being overly emotional because it’s that time of the month…)
Jess
So true, Jessi! Preach, sister, Preach!
I don’t know, but usually Greek men marry more outside than Greek women. also, Greek women tend to be rough-looking compared to other European women.
It’s too bad the internet didn’t exist in 1970s. I could have saved myself from a whole lot of heartbreak. I could write a book about my experience, but I’ll give you the short story.
I met my Greek guy in Athens while I was on vacation. It was love at first sight for both of us. I was 26 and he was 32. He asked me to marry him 1 month after we met, and I said “yes” (not knowing what I was getting myself into). Despite being a liberated American woman, his family (especially his mother) welcomed me with open arms. I guess they liked the idea that I had a college degree? We got really close to the altar. I bought my dress and we had our rings.
So, what went wrong? He forced a painful sexual situation on me without any discussion. Then he hit me and shoved me out of bed when I started crying from the pain. He locked me up in his apartment without any food and no source of entertainment, and didn’t leave a key. By the time it got dark, I had had enough and left his apartment heading to a hotel. It was just my luck that he was walking on the other side of the street and saw me. After he threw a major hissy fit, it was “all my fault” because I was immature. I don’t care what nationality somebody is, I don’t find his behavior acceptable.
Fast forward a few years (years during which I wasn’t dating anybody because I was really bummed out on men). I found out that he gave me an STD (human papilloma virus), so he obviously wasn’t faithful to me. By the time it was discovered, I had cervical cancer. I had to have surgery. I thought that was the end of it, but it came back 18 months later. I had a second surgery, and have been cancer free ever since.
Fast forward a few more years. I was back in the hospital for more surgery. Since I never had a child, my surgically altered cervix “welded itself together” and years worth of monthly discharge backed up out through my uterus and ovaries, and then spread to my entire abdomen. I ended up with peritonitis. It was so massive, I almost died from the infection. I was in the hospital for 10 days and had a bill that was almost $300,000 (thankfully, my insurance at that time paid for it). This surgery left me infertile.
He’s a very bad example of a Greek man, but I’m sorry I ever met him.
i dont really remember how i entered this site…however i ve read most of the comments and i must say that you most comments do not reflect at all the modern greek society(especially urban metropolitan areas).i am a man mid-30s
born and raised in greece,still leaving in greece…i dont have a single
friend or close relative which fits the description given above,ofcourse i dont really know anything about the upbringing of greek males outside greece,but most comments describe mainly stereotypes from the past…maybe to Greeks abroad are part of their struggle to maintain and pass on their tradition but here in greece in 2016 those stereotypes do not exist anymore
This is very interesting. My father was from Greece and he would be 107 years old by now if he were still alive. He was one of the good ones. He was faithful and very kind to my mother and to me. He gave me a good impression of Greeks. I just returned from my first trip to Greece and it seemed like the women were mostly very independent, much like American women. I felt very comfortable there and the men I met were very nice. I hope that the culture has grown away from these old, misogynistic behaviors. I did notice while growing up that the Greek men boasted a lot among themselves and that did bother me at times. On the other hand it was their way of being supportive of each other. The American culture was much more sexist in those days as well.
http://greece.greekreporter.com/2016/05/19/shocking-study-finds-eight-in-10-greek-women-cheat-on-their-spouse/
As for my experience,been talking with a Greek man thru social media, and this guy is I think a psycho well hes a narcissist at its best, haha he said He is A king and a God’s Gift and said hes the best other than any other men I was like “WTF” and so I began to search dating greek men and yeah I found some attitude the same with what they have mentioned in some articles haha! I never met such a narcissist guy like him and he even called some race Pigs lol , its wll about him and Greek only is the best haha! What else! He doesnt have respect for women for him women are just whores oh im sorry, I had a headache for month since I met him! I saw all the signs when I got scared at first, so what I did is to test him so hes the one who initiate the goodbye and Thank God he did im so saved of hell haha! Sorry but I was so so nice trying to be patient and be a woman like what he always said i have to be soft that I understood i have to put myself under him like a slave lol! Maybe he wants a foreigner because he knows ill be isolated in his fam and soon will be married i will be away from my family and he can control me,but no way! Im not a slave, I ddnt graduate for nothing! And i ddnt get my posistion in the Company where i worked for just to be a slave. Lol its funny now.im just laughing but at the same time i had a trauma because we wer just starting to know each other he just shouted at me twice! Like i did something wrong. I think hes a psycho! He creeped me out!just heck lol
Most Greek men are arrogant, pompous, mamma’s boys. Married a Greek girl who is wonderful. She would not have a Greek man as she knows what a pain in the ass they can be. There mothers raised them to think they’re special when in fact they’re lazy candy asses when it comes to work. How many Greek men does it take to screw in a light bulb? Five to tell you how it should be done, Five to tell you that the Greeks invented light bulbs, Five to call their Mom to tell them what to do…..and one white boy to get on the ladder and get the job done
Most of my cousins are married. Women especially Greek Women can’t have it both ways!! They’re no such thing as the perfect partner. What are Greek Women looking for in a Man? If he good looking;has money;and has the total package. In Greece;many married Greek men;and some Greek women;have a mistress. Greece ranks first in Europe in Car Accidents;Smoking;and Abortions!! Times have change in the land of the Gods!! Sincerely;John Vasilakos
This is a testimony that I will tell to every one to hear. I have been married four 4years and on the fifth year of my marriage, another woman had a spell to take my love away from me and my husband left me and the kids and we have suffered for 2years until I met a post where this man Dr Nosa have helped someone and I decided to give him a try to help me bring my love back home and believe me I just send my picture to him and that of my husband and after 48hours as he have told me, I saw a car drove into the house and behold it was my husband and he have come to me and the kids and that is why I am happy to make every one of you in similar to meet with this man and have your love ones back to your life. His email: drmosaspellcaster@gmail.com
I went to university with a Greek/Australian guy and he defied all of the stereotypes. He was just an easy going friendly guy and we had fun together. He was quite generous and handsome too.
I remember having a conversation with him once and he said he had taken his mother to church the day before. When I explained to him that I don’t believe any of that stuff he said he didn’t either and just did it for his mum, but this guy was no mummy’s boy, and was very dedicated to developing a strong career.
I was quite a bit older than him so I didn’t consider starting a relationship with him, but I may have if I was younger (oh, and not already in a relationship LOL).
However, coming from Australia (more specifically Melbourne where I am from), we have the largest Greek population in this city outside of Greece! Yup, you heard it right, Melbourne has the largest Greek population, the world over, outside of Greece. Largely because of our immigration policy for displaced persons at the conclusion of WWII. So Greeks are very much a part of Melbourne (and Australian) culture, and I must say that the stereotype still plays out very much in our culture.
I have known girls who are not Greek and who have married guys they have been with for years and years and watched their husband change overnight once the ring is on the finger, and have been treated like second-rate family members by his family. And I can also vouch for the complete rejection of her family as beneath him (yup, it’s true).
I have known Greek-Australian women who refuse to marry Greek men, one of them saying “you couldn’t pay me to marry a Greek man, that’s a life of misery for any woman – I actively avoided dating them so I wouldn’t have the pressure to marry one”.
The philandering is absolutely true, and the general degradation of women is also true. They are terribly sleazy and just generally unbearable to be around if you are not of the culture, and they are awful to work for, they are bullies in the workplace and have split personalities. They blame everyone for the problems and accept no responsibility for anything.
Many of them are obsessed with cars and drive like maniacs with their crappy techno music blaring at merciless volumes, and many of them just seem to be meatheads, self-entitled meatheads…the worst kind!
I remember attending my friends 21st years ago (who is Greek/Australian), and the men just sat on their proverbials while the women served everyone and the room was well-and-truly divided between the Greeks and everybody else (like the parting of the red sea). The Greeks quite simply were not interested in conversing with the non-Greeks; they actively look down on ANYONE who is not Greek and think their culture is superior to all others, adn they don’t want it ‘watered down’ by any skippy. You get that loud and clear.
I can also vouch for the fact that one of my closest friends has had a baby with, and is now marrying a Greek/Australian man and he is as sweet as can be. He’s a really friendly, non-threatening guy, and his family generally seem to be really nice people. Although, Grandma just sits in the corner looking bored at most family catch ups, but his sisters and cousins are funny, easy-going people who definitley defy the stereotype. Having said that, my friend actually looks Greek even though she isn’t. That probably helps.
So my conclusion would be that there are exceptions to the rule, but the stereotype is absolutely true.
Quite a lot of generalisation in this post and in the comments. I’m a Greek male, born and raised in Australia. My life preferences certainly don’t fit the lifestyles that many of you associate with Greek men. I’m just a regular guy that wants to do well in life, a good career, stay healthy, fiscally responsible, enjoy the woman I’m with, and with little self imposed strife. So, I do my bitch homework BEFORE I have any intimacy with a woman. Her nationality doesn’t matter. I would have preferred a Greek woman, but for many reasons (opportunities, timing, availability, etc.) it just didn’t happen. It looks likely – based on what I’m reading here – that some of them knew I was Greek and just avoided me.
Now, because I do my bitch homework to avoid certain types, why have some of you women here not done your asshole homework? I don’t care how educated you are, didn’t anybody give you the life skills to know who to select as a partner? Rather than blaming an entire race of people, look at yourself and ask why you chose that person that subsequently turned out to be a dud.
Point taken. However, what I am bringing up is less a personal difference and more a cultural one. There are stark differences in the way men and women are socialised to be and act in Greek society. This has a profound influence on how they see each other, the expectations they have of the other gender and how they see themselves. You are right, there are individual differences that make generalisations hard, but at the same time, these generalisations exist. When traditional gender roles are morphing, it is high time we took a deeper look into how we raise our sons and daughters to make for more equitable and happier relationships that allow both parties to express their strengths.
The problem is not “Greek Men” (per se) at all. The writer(who keeps herself anonymous) claims that there are few decent Greek men, going so far as to label them “s-o-b”. So her bias is exposed toward Greek men, because she has failed to secure one and now trying to convince herself she is happy marrying outside the culture. Her article is an attempt to muster support for her failures in life.
The argument is that the men are spoiled by the mother’s.
Can’t the same be said about Greek women? What makes them so independent, loyal, trustworthy? Didn’t Mama and Baba spoil them just as much as the boys in the family?
C’mon. Everyone knows Greek Family’s are tightly knit. These things are unavoidable.
Greek women are really spoiled, entitled, and have unrealistic expectations in their marriage partners. Thank Feminism for this mess!
Keep watching the mass social control programs on TV, I.e. talk shows, fake news and stop going to church and you’ll come out a great person.
The argument being raised is “they want good Greek men”. It’s just. FACT in life that women don’t respect “Good Men”. Women define their reality thru misery. They love the bad boy.
Women get bored real fast of the “good guy”. The “good guy” is often discarded to the curb when her dream bad boy flirts with her at the grocery store.
C’mon! Plz this article is flawed!
Sorry for reviving
But no, the new generation of greeks is even worse… They oversexualize everything and they have no respect for women of their age. And of course, women of their age, are afraid to stand to their ground because of the whole femi-nazi situation going around, because that’s how they are labeled when they react to insults. I’m a greek myself but fortunately my mother is a woman with a huge grip of independence and raised me to respect equality as it should be and not how elder-heads with patriarchal points of view or actual femi-nazis (yeah i know the term is stupid) want it to be.
First of all, men from Greece, an advanced society of western Europe, are European men, and as husbands they are like their other European counterparts, like French husbands, Austrian husbands or Spanish husbands, Myself, from Greece, married, I always do my ironing, lot of the cooking, my wife goes out with often without me with her male or female friends etc. Only small difference in Greece would be that men from my city Thessalonica and the North are more liberal and less rigid than southern Greece, especially Peloponnese and the islands.
As a foreigner in this country (Greece) and married to a greek man i have to say only: I am sorry the moment i met him. Sorry that in some way i lied to myself being led from the advertisements of the greek mentality.
It is all lie. Everything in this country is fake.
You work and you find out that you haven’t been insured.
You work and you find out that they don’t pay you or pay you less.
Because you are a foreigner and you don’t have to whom to complain.
They are the biggest hypocrites. It’s not by chance that this is a greek word.
They tell in front of you ” Agaph mou” (My love) and behind your back talk bad. They will use you for their own sake.
I hate my husband and thinking of divorce. I don’t want my kid to be raised in the greek values.
Greeks have very few values- to eat, to sleep, not to work and if they can to lie other people.
Sorry but this is the simple truth. The greek mothers produce some freaks. Because they teach them that they are the best, that mommy will take care for them- girls and boys until they are 60 years old, that they are half- gods.
Greece and greeks are oriental. They don’t have big difference with the turks. Maybe this is the closest to mentality country from Europe to the Middle east countries.
Don’t marry greek, dont fall for the beautiful words. These are just words. Greeks like every oriental country is about talking, not doing.
Everyone in order to make money there is illegal. The businesses in Greece are- opening coffee shop or opening souvladzidiko.
Sad country with sad , stupid people. They think that they are having fun, just because they drink, sleep until afternoon and are noisy. They don’t understand the western way of being happy and have fun if you are doing any sport or you go with bycicles all the family out. The fun for them is all the fat family going to eat and then to say ” Why we ate so much”, to hold their bellies and women to shake their asses.
It’s really entertaining how you avoided Greek men in order to find a good partner, yet you already have two marriages under your belt and counting. I know of a single greek guy who has married twice (after the wife’s death), everybody else married happily to a single person. To speak with facts, Greece has one of the lowest divorce rates in the western world.
I believe actions speak louder than words, and your own marriage failures disqualify you completely from talking about ideal partners and which ethnicities are more suitable, let alone give marital/dating advice.
Out of morbid curiosity, how is your second marriage going? Are you still married?
I was not trying to give advice to anyone. I was only trying to shed light on a cultural phenomenon. When boys are socialized to be better, given more attention, when girls are treated as second class as a general rule, those boys grow up to be men who treat women as adjuncts to their needs. Of course there are personal differences. I don’t agree. You can attack the person and not the argument but it’s a form of illogical reasoning. Even if I had five divorces, the argument would still stand. It’s easy to judge, harder to think critically. Read the lastest updated post on the issue
I dated a greek man for about a year. We met at work. Dated about a year. I fell for him and then he was transferred back to the city where his family lived. I was upset that we were to be separated. He stated “what did I expect to happen”. Once back home he kept blowing me off for various reasons. I broke it off with him. He wanted to attempt to continue a relationship even though his parents lived with him, and he refused to tell them we were dating. About 25 years ago. To this day he broke my heart. From what I heard married a greek women 19 years younger. I felt used, like there was never a future. I was just the American stand in til he fulfilled his greek
obligations. Ive had trust issues ever since.
Aussie girl who just left a relationship with a greek island born man, considering he came here at age 10 you’d think the stereotype would of gone but no. These boys are raised to be kings by their mothers, doted on far more than what any normal girl can do. They expect more than they give as they work they think this makes them man enough. Most had absent fathers as they had to leave to work so they had very different up bringing to other men i see here in australia. There most defiantly is a “us and them” mentality and everything greek is better. The food, the people, the women slave away over the men. I think greek women are not raised to be smart at all. They are raised to be mothers and dealers of bullshit. In the time of this relationship it didn’t take long before the cracks are shown but because these guys are so well with lovey words and ready to buy expensive gifts to make up for their shit. They move fast with gifts and talk of marriage to trap the girl before she sees the storm coming, this time i was caught in the storm. I thought a little innocent jealousy was cute but it turns because they want to control and dominate. It got to the point if i wore sexy underwear under my pants to go out grocery shopping id be accused of something plus snooping on my phone every chance he got then to lie about it. Blather on greek men about how great your culture USED TO BE because by the sounds of it you guys only get away with this stuff with greek girls from the islands who do not know any better. It has been a real cultural eye opener and i DO believe there are amazing greek men but be warned for the man who instantly calls you his dream girl and as the person said in a below post, beware the greek with gifts. so true. Lucky to have dodged a bullet, though I had a laugh with my mother how she said as soon as i told her i am with a greek she said her and dads hair stood up on the back of their necks…. listen to your parents! x
Very nice post but very emotional and angry responses
Well I am a Greek girl I am 27 years old and my husband is not Greek yep he is not my husband is an Arab Moroccan Muslim he is very respectful, super hardworking, he is a gentleman, my Moroccan husband is very happy and loves life so he is good with economy but he is buying me gifts and he loves us spend time together and go out. I love my Moroccan husband I love him much cause we are one soul in two bodies. I am an educated and financially independent Greek woman like all Greek women I know since Greek women are always more educated than Greek men. Sadly I saw some bad comments full of complains about how Greek mothers raise their sons no offense girls what do you know about the Greek mothers suffer? In Greek families the Greek fathers always ignore their children, since you marry a Greek man forget what you knew about loving caring fathers forever!!!! Greek men are ghosts for their kids and Greek fathers usually mistreat and abuse their sons as much as they can, Greek fathers see their sons as their “competitors” for the most part also because in Greece the husband goes to live with his wife’s family and girls are expected to look after their parents, in laws, kids, house and nowadays their work too the Greek fathers consider their sons as useless and want only girls. I have heard growing up here in Greece my father’s brother and first cousin considered him blessed for having 3 daughters and no sons and how much they are dreaming to have a daughter too and that girls are smart, hard working, brave, intelligent and loving, caring and that boys are bad and careless and sneaky and like beating and stuff and most classic thing I have heard from Greek men is that girls are beautiful, joyful, cute, innocent, smart and graceful but boys are dumb, sneaky and even “ugly” and don’t care about anyone yes they call their sons ugly and dumb indeed this is how “good fathers” they are! “The son is a foreign child only the daughter is your own, your daughter will bring you a glass of water and a university diploma your son will abandon you and will be a man in work only” these ugly words come out from mouths of Greek men about their sons it’s so sad just as recently I hear the Greek men mock gay men with sayings like “better daughter she will go with men what if your son turns out to be kounistos” they can’t understand that girls might be homosexual aswell! So sadly VERY sadly Greek mothers who are now 50+ try to protect their kids from their husbands horrible behavior they tried to heal their kids psychology by spoil them and shower them with unconditional love and sometimes the boys more cause their fathers humiliate them and ignore them more but the results are still tragic as we can see!!!
From my mother’s generation I have 7 aunts who married foreigners here in Greece! One is her younger sister, 2 of her friends and others are 3 first cousins of hers and 1 second cousin all these Greek women are happily married with their foreign husbands and have kids and never divorced. In my neighborhoods in Athens I know older Greek women married with Arab men, Polish men, Serbian man, Bulgarian men ,Albanian men, Jewish men,
Iranian men and Kurdish, African men and I had classmates like we had a boy whose father was German, twins a boy and girl that their dad was a Swedish man and one guy whose father was Brazilian. My dad has 3 1rst cousins married with English men and one with French/Lebanese mix and other with German man again. All happily married none dovirced. My childhood friend moved in Sweden for her postgraduate degree and she has 3 kids with a Swedish man now and they happy a lot she says he shows most love to him and she gives him love, value and happiness. My childhood friend Angelina married an Iranian man she is also happy. I have cousins in Australia, Brazil and Canada who married foreign men and got disowned by their fathers but they continued their marriage and kicked their fathers out of their life and gave their husbands value. As a Greek girl I love my mother and only her cause she grew up me and my sisters my dad is a loser a lazy gossip and greedy and stingy low life parasite! As a Greek girl I love my Arabic mother in law she is most wonderful woman too I giver her the same love and respect I give to my Greek mother and I am proud for my Arab father in law cause he is very brave man and respectful! He was suspicious at the start when I met my husband and we married with civil ceremony but I won his trust with the respect I saw him and the love I give to his son ,his wife and my man’s siblings and because he loves the fact that I let him have a word for our kids cause I know this gives my Arab father’s in law life!
I saw in comments Greek men showing their true low nature and try to compete with Greek women again! No offense but we have high young native female population in Greece but still young Greek women are mostly married while a large number of young Greek men are unmarried and childless this can give an answer to Greek men about why we prefer foreign men over them and why you Greek men are not liked. Greek men complain that nobody likes them cause it’s Greek women’s fault for not liking them and that we Greek women love foreign men asbif it is a sin to like a good looking foreigner. Greek men are obese and have average/bellow than average faces but we Greek women must be patriotic and not mention that we must accept it anyway and God forbid we shouldn’t mention that on average all Greek women are fit with above average/stunningly gorgeous faces we are traitors for that we Greek women are also traitors for liking foreign actors like the notorious case with Turkish actors. And to all foreign ladies that your Greek husbands/partners made you suffer well no offense but stop saying bad things about Greek girls cause it’s your Greek man’s fault and only none else. Some woman here said that her Greek husband left her and married a Greek girl 19 years younger than him well dear woman IT IS HIS FAULT he went after her what’s your problem with Greek women? He was no kid to seduce him with caramels and chocolates so many years ago move on. Some Aussie girl here is saying that her Greek Australian boyfriend was a total l0ser and that she noticed that Greek men like to chat only with other Greek men and think they are better than others and the Greek Australian women do not like Greek men and avoid dating/marrying them but yet she tries to put down us Greek women saying that we live in patriarchy and we do not know any better how hypocritical! I guess if the Greek women around you in Australia dear Aussie girl date and marry with success Australian men and other men they are smart, beautiful and classy women and they obviously know better than you Aussie girl and have stop dating Greek men cause they are not “dumb & submissive” like you say! They just don’t spend their time online bashing their ex boyfriends so learn from them then!!! And learn how to defend your man girls! As a Greek girl I put serious limits to the Greek men around me and I don’t give the right to anyone to say anything to my Moroccan husband (cause I know Greek men they are jealous of foreign men specifically MENA men) he is my eyes, my heart the man I married cause I can’t imagine marriage life without him after I met him cause I was never one of these girls who had marriage as priority only I knew I love kids too much and when I met my Moroccan husband I said inside me “if your relationship with him ends up in marriage good other better stay single” cause I knew if i had to marry I would do this only with him! And cause I respect his family cause they are good people and loving but if they weren’t I wouldn’t say anything then but definitely I wouldn’t go online like you girls insulting my husband’s family for God’s sake be respectful to yourselves !
Very nice post but very emotional and angry responses
Well I am a Greek girl I am 27 years old and my husband is not Greek yep he is not my husband is an Arab Moroccan Muslim he is very respectful, super hardworking, he is a gentleman, my Moroccan husband is very happy and loves life so he is good with economy but he is buying me gifts and he loves us spend time together and go out. I love my Moroccan husband I love him much cause we are one soul in two bodies. I am an educated and financially independent Greek woman like all Greek women I know since Greek women are always more educated than Greek men. Sadly I saw some bad comments full of complains about how Greek mothers raise their sons no offense girls what do you know about the Greek mothers suffer? In Greek families the Greek fathers always ignore their children, since you marry a Greek man forget what you knew about loving caring fathers forever!!!! Greek men are ghosts for their kids and Greek fathers usually mistreat and abuse their sons as much as they can, Greek fathers see their sons as their “competitors” for the most part also because in Greece the husband goes to live with his wife’s family and girls are expected to look after their parents, in laws, kids, house and nowadays their work too the Greek fathers consider their sons as useless and want only girls. I have heard growing up here in Greece my father’s brother and first cousin considered him blessed for having 3 daughters and no sons and how much they are dreaming to have a daughter too and that girls are smart, hard working, brave, intelligent and loving, caring and that boys are bad and careless and sneaky and like beating and stuff and most classic thing I have heard from Greek men is that girls are beautiful, joyful, cute, innocent, smart and graceful but boys are dumb, sneaky and even “ugly” and don’t care about anyone yes they call their sons ugly and dumb indeed this is how “good fathers” they are! “The son is a foreign child only the daughter is your own, your daughter will bring you a glass of water and a university diploma your son will abandon you and will be a man in work only” these ugly words come out from mouths of Greek men about their sons it’s so sad just as recently I hear the Greek men mock gay men with sayings like “better daughter she will go with men what if your son turns out to be kounistos” they can’t understand that girls might be homosexual aswell! So sadly VERY sadly Greek mothers who are now 50+ try to protect their kids from their husbands horrible behavior they tried to heal their kids psychology by spoil them and shower them with unconditional love and sometimes the boys more cause their fathers humiliate them and ignore them more but the results are still tragic as we can see!!!
From my mother’s generation I have 7 aunts who married foreigners here in Greece! One is her younger sister, 2 of her friends and others are 3 first cousins of hers and 1 second cousin all these Greek women are happily married with their foreign husbands and have kids and never divorced. In my neighborhoods in Athens I know older Greek women married with Arab men, Polish men, Serbian man, Bulgarian men ,Albanian men, Jewish men,
Iranian men and Kurdish, African men and I had classmates like we had a boy whose father was German, twins a boy and girl that their dad was a Swedish man and one guy whose father was Brazilian. My dad has 3 1rst cousins married with English men and one with French/Lebanese mix and other with German man again. All happily married none dovirced. My childhood friend moved in Sweden for her postgraduate degree and she has 3 kids with a Swedish man now and they happy a lot she says he shows most love to him and she gives him love, value and happiness. My childhood friend Angelina married an Iranian man she is also happy. I have cousins in Australia, Brazil and Canada who married foreign men and got disowned by their fathers but they continued their marriage and kicked their fathers out of their life and gave their husbands value. As a Greek girl I love my mother and only her cause she grew up me and my sisters my dad is a loser a lazy gossip and greedy and stingy low life parasite! As a Greek girl I love my Arabic mother in law she is most wonderful woman too I giver her the same love and respect I give to my Greek mother and I am proud for my Arab father in law cause he is very brave man and respectful! He was suspicious at the start when I met my husband and we married with civil ceremony but I won his trust with the respect I saw him and the love I give to his son ,his wife and my man’s siblings and because he loves the fact that I let him have a word for our kids cause I know this gives my Arab father’s in law life!
I saw in comments Greek men showing their true low nature and try to compete with Greek women again! No offense but we have high young native female population in Greece but still young Greek women are mostly married while a large number of young Greek men are unmarried and childless this can give an answer to Greek men about why we prefer foreign men over them and why you Greek men are not liked. Greek men complain that nobody likes them cause it’s Greek women’s fault for not liking them and that we Greek women love foreign men asbif it is a sin to like a good looking foreigner. Greek men are obese and have average/bellow than average faces but we Greek women must be patriotic and not mention that we must accept it anyway and God forbid we shouldn’t mention that on average all Greek women are fit with above average/stunningly gorgeous faces we are traitors for that we Greek women are also traitors for liking foreign actors like the notorious case with Turkish actors. And to all foreign ladies that your Greek husbands/partners made you suffer well no offense but stop saying bad things about Greek girls cause it’s your Greek man’s fault and only none else. Some woman here said that her Greek husband left her and married a Greek girl 19 years younger than him well dear woman IT IS HIS FAULT he went after her what’s your problem with Greek women? He was no kid to seduce him with caramels and chocolates so many years ago move on. Some Aussie girl here is saying that her Greek Australian boyfriend was a total l0ser and that she noticed that Greek men like to chat only with other Greek men and think they are better than others and the Greek Australian women do not like Greek men and avoid dating/marrying them but yet she tries to put down us Greek women saying that we live in patriarchy and we do not know any better how hypocritical! I guess if the Greek women around you in Australia dear Aussie girl date and marry with success Australian men and other men they are smart, beautiful and classy women and they obviously know better than you Aussie girl and have stop dating Greek men cause they are not “dumb & submissive” like you say! They just don’t spend their time online bashing their ex boyfriends so learn from them then!!! And learn how to defend your man girls! As a Greek girl I put serious limits to the Greek men around me and I don’t give the right to anyone to say anything to my Moroccan husband (cause I know Greek men they are jealous of foreign men specifically MENA men) he is my eyes, my heart the man I married cause I can’t imagine marriage life without him after I met him cause I was never one of these girls who had marriage as priority only I knew I love kids too much and when I met my Moroccan husband I said inside me “if your relationship with him ends up in marriage good other better stay single” cause I knew if i had to marry I would do this only with him! And cause I respect his family cause they are good people and loving but if they weren’t I wouldn’t say anything then but definitely I wouldn’t go online like you girls insulting my husband’s family for God’s sake be respectful to yourselves !
sorry, not sorry but greek men are super difficult, always roving eye, always cheating and mysoginistic. Lies, 24/7. You will be very sorry after the lovebombing and real hellas comes out. Trust your gut instinct and trust other women who have btdt.