HEAVENLY REFERENCES
Three married couples, one Jewish, one Irish, and one Greek, all die on the same day and arrive at the gates of Heaven.
St. Peter asks the Jewish man why he deserves to be in Heaven. He replies, “I’ve been a pious Jew all my life, I attended synagogue every Saturday, and I raised a lot of money for Jewish causes.”
“And what is your wife’s name?” St. Peter asks.
“Penny,” the man replies.
“Penny?!!” shouts St. Peter. “You Jews are all alike. Money, money, money. You even married a woman whose name has to do with money! Get out of my sight! You are damned to Hell!”

Then St. Peter asks the Irishman why he deserves to be in Heaven. “I’ve been a devout Catholic throughout my life, attended church every Sunday, and always gave generously to the collection plate.”
“And what’s your wife’s name?” St. Peter asks.
“Brandy,” the Irishman replies.
“Brandy?!! You Irish are all alike. Drink, drink, drink. You even married a woman whose name is a type of alcohol. Get out of my sight! You are damned to Hell!”

With that, the Greek guy turns to his wife and says,
“Fanny, I think we have a problem…”

GOODBY DADDY

A father put his three year old daughter to bed, told her a story and listened to her prayers – which she ended by saying “God bless mommy, God bless daddy, God bless grandma, and good-bye grandpa.”
The father said, “Why did you say good-bye grandpa?” The little girl said “I don’t know daddy, it just seemed like the thing to do.”
The next day grandpa died. Father thought it was a strange coincidence. A few months later the father put the girl to bed and listened to her prayers,which went like this – “God bless mommy, God bless daddy and good-bye grandma. Next day the grandmother died.
My gosh, thought the father, this kid is in contact with the other side.
Several weeks later when the girl was going to bed the dad heard her say “God bless mommy and good-bye daddy.”
He practically went into shock. Couldn’t sleep all night and got up at the crack of dawn to go to his office. He was nervous as a cat all day, had lunch sent in and watched the clock. He figured if he could get by until midnight he would be OK. He felt safe in the office, so instead of going home at the end of the day he stayed there, drinking coffee, looking at his watch and jumping at every sound. Finally midnight arrived, he breathed a sigh of relief and went home.
When he got home his wife said “I’ve never seen you work so late, what’s the matter?” He said “I don’t want to talk about it, I’ve just spent the worst day of my life.”
She said “You think you had a bad day, you’ll never believe what happened to me. This morning the mailman dropped dead on our porch.”